it's a match

It’s a match, week 1

“It’s a match”, a sentence that became famous these last years…
After having recently read the experiences of a french blogger on the apps/dating sites, I realized that most guys really suck in terms of flirting 2.0. Some of them really killed respect. I don’t pretend to be Will Smith in Hitch, but I feel like I’m not struggling as much as the vast majority. And at least, I don’t send a dick pic right after saying hi.
So, I wanted to squeal on my pig tell some of my experiences on dating apps. And if you like it, we’ll do that weekly ? Ah ah, just kidding, I decide, so you won’t get the choice anyway..

As a reminder, I’m using:
Tinder – Happn – Bumble – AdoptAGuy – Once – Fruitz – Lovoo – Jaumo – Badoo – OkCupid
Yeah, that’s a lot. But i’m mostly using the first 3, the others, it’s when I’m stuck for hours on the toilet seat, or waiting a train because SNCF is on strike. Which means a lot.

A few things to note:
I’m a guy, so I can’t wait for the female to be attracted, I need to mark my territory, lure them in my trap, and make to drive away the competition.
I have probably a match every 20-30 (or maybe more ?) likes, not 9 out of 10 like girls. And I like 90% of girls because I’m raking wide weak and horny. My ass is on fire. All the time..
I always send the first message in the next 24 hours, but most often in the hour. Big up to all girls that take the initiative, you’re the real mvp. Or maybe your ass is on fire too ?

You’ll be able to see my technique and then decide if I deserve virgins in offering or, on the contrary, you’ll laugh at my face.
I’ll try to put screenshots of legendary/wtf/funny/loser moments.
You have the right to be offended, find me lame or amazing and tell me, but in good mod and happiness.
Originally, I’m not looking for anything serious, but you’re never safe from love at first sight.

Results of the week:
Nb of matches: 4
Nb of unmatches on my side: 0 (I rarely do it, unless people are 10000 km away, or if I was too drunk when I liked)
Nb of unmatches on their side: 1
Nb of messages with no answer after 3 days (After that, I almost abandon, but keep the match anyway, you never know): 1

  • Ophélie, 28 yo (Tinder): Match, I send the first message, direct unmatch. Ok, thanks for dropping by…
  • Jessica, 35 yo (Happn): Still waiting for the answer…
  • Jacqueline, 27 yo (Bumble): Most of the time, Bumble pisses me off. It’s “Bermuda Triangle” level most of the time in terms of mystery. Girls don’t send messages… (Oversight, willingly, not aware of the concept ?). Considering it’s the principle of the app, it’s kinda sad… And poof, the match disappear. She’s really nice and cute, but she’s only here to talk. Well, let’s talk, you never know what can happen…
  • Marie, 35 yo (Tinder): Belgian (Bunch of untranslatable Belgian expressions that french people use to make fun of them. kisses, Belgium). We get along very well, even though she was originally looking to settle. But it didn’t prevent her to fall under my spell. Rendez-vous planned… soon ??


You’ll notice the endless humor of this guy that drops all panties on the floor. 😎
See you next week ! 😘

Rendez-vous sur Hellocoton !

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